Stepmom demands 15-year-old quit one of his 4 extracurricular activities because they leave no time for her 2 kids: 'I told her that she is not paying for my classes, so it's none of her business.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 6, 2025 8:00 PM EST

She's not even driving him to his activities: she doesn't get a vote.

If you're a stepparent who enters into a pre-existing family dynamic with a bunch of demands that they change things to suit your liking, you can't act surprised when your stepchild dislikes you. When it comes to matters of the stepchild, it's essential to observe and learn before you make judgments. You might not understand why your spouse and their child operate the way they do, but after observing them over a couple of months, you start to understand. 

Perhaps they are particular about needing a specific type of ham for their sandwich because it reminds them of their other parent, whom they don't get to see as often as they'd like. Perhaps they participate in numerous extracurricular activities because, without them, they would become idle and listless. Whatever the case may be, a parent will nearly always know their child better than their stepparent, so it's essential to take the lead of your husband or wife instead of deciding what is best for a child you don't know well. It's always better to err on the side of caution with matters like these.

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  • A young Asian man playing soccer
    via Ashwini Chaudhary(Monty)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The stepmom in this story thinks that her stepson is doing way too many extracurricular activities. He participates in soccer, piano, Korean lessons, and painting, which are sure to look good on a college application. But she thinks that him doing so much takes away from her kids, even though she's not paying for his activities. 

  • Am I the bad guy for not giving up my hobbies?

    My dad recently married Kim who has 2 kids. I like to have a busy schedule so I attend soccer classes 3 times a week, Korean classes twice a week, piano classes once a week and painting classes also once a week.
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • Now Kim thinks this is too much. She says there is no time and money left for her kids.
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • She thinks I should stop playing soccer and piano because soccer is the most time consuming and piano is the most expensive.
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • A hand on a Yamaha piano
    via Catgirlmutant

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told her that she is not paying for my classes or giving me rides so it's none of her business.
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • A woman driving a car with a man in the back seat
    via MAK invo

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Perhaps she could ask their own dad to give them money and time, but oh wait, he is a deadbeat, so maybe she shouldn't have slept with him.
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • She thinks I'm a selfish asshole for not giving up my hobbies for her kids. My dad is on my side so I'm not worried but she keeps whining which is annoying.
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • NTA. Letters_from_summer You need to tell your dad you appreciate him being on your side but Kim has to cut it out with the harassment of you. Also, I'm not sure if you have both parents in your life but I would tell your dad, especially if he is the only parent in your life, that you are concerned what happens to you if something happens to him. Kim has made it very clear that she doesn't think your dad should be spending money on you. If he dies without a will all of his assets go to Kim. If h
    via u/Letters_from_summer
  • Popular-Mulberry4329 NTA enjoy your hobbies. You're right she isn't paying for them and it doesn't hurt her kids in any way if you keep yourself active and enjoy things you like.
    via u/Popular-Mulberry4329
  • My 1stpseudonym NTA and she is 100% over stepping. She should be speaking with your dad about this as I imagine he's paying, and even then she is TA for asking. It has to be hard for her kids if they don't have the funds to do fun hobbies, and your dad as their step dad could offer to help, but it isn't your job to make things fair, that is their job as a team.
    via u/My1stpseudonym
  • Medical-Analyst486 NTA. Even though he's on your side here, your dad should talk to his wife to cut it out.
    via u/Medical-Analyst486
  • Tinkerpro Stop with the snark, that won't help. you dont say how old you are. You have options: ignore her; point out that your dad is fine with your activities and she should not be trying to interfere; do not slam her ex. that is not productive. continue to stay busy, next thing you know, she will be trying to force you into free labor/babysitting.
    via u/Tinkerpro
  • OP Next Egg2567 He told her to stop it so now she keeps saying this when he is not around
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • Goddess_of_Bees INFO: did you say all the things about the deadbeat to her face? And how old are you?
    via u/Goddess_of_Bees
  • OP Next_Egg2567 Yes. I'm 15
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • myblackandwhitecat NTA at all. It's good your dad is on your side, both emotionally and practically. Don't give up your hobbies. You have the right to a life of your own. Did Kim protest about your hobbies before she married your dad? She may be hoping you will give them up and provide free baby sitting instead.
    via u/myblackandwhitecat
  • OP Next_Egg2567 No she didn't. Her kids are both teenagers so I don't think she needs a babysitter.
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • blueswan6 Several people are recommending you record her but only do that if you're in a state/country where one-party recording is legal! There are several states in the US where all parties being recorded have to consent to being recorded.
    via u/blueswan6
  • OP Next_Egg2567 I don't know if it's legal but I wasn't gonna risk it anyway. My dad believes me if I tell him
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • paintedkayak INFO: Why is there no time for Kim's kids? I get the money issue, but how would not going to soccer make more time for her kids, given that she doesn't drive you to soccer?
    via u/paintedkayak
  • OP Next_Egg2567 She thinks my dad should drive her kids. Dad usually stays there and watches me practice so it's take a lot of his time
    via u/Next_Egg2567
  • flaccidbitchface ESH. Her for bugging you about your hobbies and you for your comments about her ex/your step siblings' father. You definitely crossed the line with that. You also need to talk to your dad about what she's been saying to you, but trust me, you won't earn any points with him if you speak to his wife like that.
    via u/flaccidb**chface
  • OP Next_Egg2567 Earn points? I'm not trying to warn points, whatever that means. He is my dad.
    via u/Next_Egg2567

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teens family drama activities stepmother piano sports teenagers stepmom korean reddit story raising teens dad soccer family painting reddit thread Reddit
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